Enjoy being single and to not spend it focusing on finding love.

Let me preface this post saying that everything you are about to read comes from a place in my life where I am very content and satisfied in the love department (wow, that did not come out how I meant it to. Sorry mom). In fact, I think I am even more qualified to say what I am about to BECAUSE I am in a happy relationship.

Let’s back up for a second, shall we? In my entire life, I have been in two serious relationships. That “first love” experience found me when I was 18 and left me when I was 20. When I was 23 going on 24, I met my current squeeze and main man, who the cool kids call Mr. Chris. So, for all my math majors out there, that means the total length of my adult single life was exactly 3 and a half years. Writing it out like that, it hardly seems like any time at all, but when I was going through it, it felt like an eternity.

If you’re already a loyal follower to my blog four days in, you know in my last post that I talk about comparing yourself to others (pause for shameless plug telling you to go read it if you haven’t already). I think we all know this happens in every aspect of our lives—professional success, physical appearance and especially our love life. Whether it’s our number of sexual partners, whose relationship seems “better” than someone else’s, or how very very single you are when everyone around you is not. And it’s the latter that is usually the biggest contributor to our insecurities.

Except when you look back on it, there are so many parts about being single that are insanely fun. Like getting all dressed up and sexy (okay…slutty. There, I said it) on a Saturday night to go out and meet someone new—nothing beats the anticipation you feel of not knowing what is going to happen; or the cluster-fuck of butterflies that do the cha cha in your stomach when you’re on a first date or have the first kiss. Those feelings are epic, and ones we definitely take for granted until they’re gone.

We spend so much time worried about when we’re going to find “our person” (shoutout to my Grey’s fans) that we completely forget to just be in the moment and embrace this unpredictable time in our lives. To enjoy our independence and the ability to make our own decisions without having to think about how they are going to make someone else feel. We get to control our own remote, and pick the movies we want to watch, and never, ever have to share our damn food! It’s that stuff we should be appreciating and reminding ourselves of when the insecurities surface.

Trust me, I know all of that is easier said than done when you’re the one single and sometimes lonely. But take it from a girl that is no longer in that place, you will find who you’re looking for when the time is right. And when you do, you’ll catch yourself reminiscing on those days and wishing you spent more of it appreciating all the good things about single life, instead of waiting for it to just be over. So for now, focus on loving yourself and enjoying your own company. And yes, it’s okay to look out for love while you’re doing it. In fact, you should always be open to whatever or whomever life puts in front of you; it’s just not something you should put your sole focus in every minute of every day.

Somebody somewhere made up this very cliché quote that says, “Love happens when you least expect it.” Well no offense to Corny McCheesy, but that’s lame. What he should have said (I decided it was a dude), is that love happens “when it’s supposed to happen”. Simple as that. So my friends, keep your head up and your heart open. And while you wait, live your best, most fulfilled single life, full of spontaneity, adventure and, well maybe a little bit of booze. Because we all know the best moments are brought to you by liquid courage. 😉

2 thoughts on “Enjoy being single and to not spend it focusing on finding love.

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